Kitten plots murder

A month ago, we adopted an adorable, ten-week-old kitten!  He's a beautiful gray tabby with white paws, white muzzle, and a tiny touch of white at the very tippy-top of his tail.  He was a shelter cat, of course, and, we suspect, spent the first few weeks of life in a dumpster eating restaurant scraps, because this cat is attracted to any human food -- tomato sauce, apple cake, kale.  What cat likes kale?  If we want to eat lunch on the couch on the weekend, we are practically reduced to taking shifts: one eats, one stands guard and makes sure the cat doesn't make off with a carrot stick.

Our friends found out about our adoption (how else?) on Facebook, and being good friends, concerned for our welfare, sent us a card of an Onion article about a cute tabby kitten who Plots Murder All Day. 

I admit, it scared me just a touch.  Getting up in the morning, for instance, J (the cat's nom-de-web) hides under the side of the bed, then leaps out towards our cold, unsuspecting feet and tries to eat a toe for his breakfast.  Much yelping is involved, by everyone.

It's impressive, though, this hunting instinct.  J was with his mother for no more than ten weeks, and yet he knows how to hunt.  What's more, he's improved here, in our very home, sans kitten playmates or mother cat.  When he arrived, he really did not know how to pounce.  He'd kind of crouch a little bit and wiggle his butt the way cats do (which helps how, exactly?), but then he'd jump high in the air, achieving no forward motion, and never reaching the stuffed mouse or wad of paper in his path.  He still does this kangaroo hop, but now half the time he actually leaps forward, catches his "prey," and tosses it, which the big cats do to break the prey's neck. 

Who taught him this?  And what can I learn by instinct, hmmm?  I'll take it.  Classes are durn expensive.

Because J is all of 3 pounds, however, the scary factor is low, and because he spends hours every day sleeping on our laps, the cute factor is unbelievably high.  In fact, he's here right now, covering his cute kitten eyes with his even cuter kitten paw, his long kitten whiskers twitching as he dreams his kitten dreams.

Probably he's visualizing his next pounce.